THINGS WOMEN GET TOLD

Something I’ve always liked doing is writing, and people often ask me what my favorite thing to write about is. They usually ask: is it articles, scripts, reviews? It always weird people out when I answer LISTS. And not just the weekly grocerie or To- do list. Listing things had become a part of my life. right now my computer desk is covered with post-it notes that read “Things to get done this week” “Possible topics for the Millennials Article” “Ideas for the podcast”. My phone on the other hand has some honorable list mentions, such as: “Best dates I’ve ever been to” “every single guy I slept with since I lost my V- card” … you get the idea. Every now and then I add an item to the one titled: “Things women get told”.

1. Don’t be so bossy
2. Your dad will have to chase the boys away when you’re older
3. He picks on you because he likes you
4. You’re really strong for a girl
5. Don’t wear that, you’ll distract the boys
6. You’re into video games?, boys must like that
7. You should wax your eyebrows
8. Short hair? No, you’ll look like a boy
9. No guy wants to have sex with a virgin
10. Don’t be such a slut
11. Act and talk like a lady
12. How much did you drink?
13. Why are you getting so emotional/ dramatic?
14. You’re so chill for a girl
15. Stop being such an attention whore
16. Stop acting so bitchy
17. It must be that time of the month
18. You’d be much prettier if you made an effort
19. Women can’t drive
20. You’re so exotic, where are you from?
21. You are so pretty, you should smile more
22. I was just trying to give you a compliment
23. Why not? Does your boyfriend get upset?
24. Just joking; I wasn’t being sexist or anything.
25. Is that all you’re going to eat?
26. It’s not harassment, he likes you a lot.
27. Are you really going to eat all that?
28. You’re the CEO?
29. Your drive is kind of intimidating
30. Men don’t like smarter women, play dumb
31. You drink whisky? And beer too?!
32. Can women have it all?
33. Are you like, a feminist?
34. You feminists are such lesbians
35. Just marry someone wealthy
36. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride
37. The clock is ticking
38. You don’t want kids? You won’t be fulfilled
39. Giving birth is best part about being a woman
40. Why do you want to earn so much, your husband should take care of the bills?
41. You’re not taking your husband’s last name?
42. You don’t look like you had a baby
43. Does he mind that you make more money than him?
44. He cooks dinner? You really have him well trained
45. Dating a younger man? You’re such a cougar
46. Isn’t that outfit a little too young for you?
47. You were beautiful when you were younger