CASPERING IN LA

I’ll see you around – he lied Yea, for sure – I lied back

May of 2019. We meet at the line to enter the New Beverly Cinema. After watching THE LOVE WITCH, a 35 mm independent film about a woman who loved men to death, we hit the DTLA brewery scenario. He’s a writer, not sure what his words are about, not only on ink but, the music is so loud I can barely listen to what he’s saying, I’m nodding with my head pretending to know what he’s talking about. Why am I not letting him know or proposing a different hang out? Well, this is the moment I realize I don’t care. Truth be told I won’t even remember his name…or his face.

But I remember his love for “Pizza”, an orange spotted cat he’s had since he moved into his Hollywood apartment back in 2017. My memory is usually on point but, that and the last words we said to each other are all I remember about him:

 -Well, text me if you want to continue talking about cats –

He said while opening up the door of my Uber.

-About cats? –

I replied before it hit me: we both knew this would be the last time we’d be face to face.

-Sure, I will-

I now wonder if we have ever crossed paths again and we simply didn’t notice. I’ve spent quite the time at that whole foods and despite LA being a big city, I do constantly come across the same people every now and then. Arthur, for example,  was working at a coffee shop at USC while studying but quit and moved to Pasadena. There. At least that time I managed to know more than one thing about a guy.

Honestly, none of them did anything wrong, I just didn’t feel a connection, maybe it wasn’t the right time or I had too many things on my mind but, it was clear for them that I had no interest in another date. As far as Arthur, we hang out in the same areas so naturally run into each other and small talk out of courtesy. He’s not a friend, our date really wasn’t  one,  but he’s also not a stranger or a potential anything.

I guess that’s the city lifestyle; we are busy, therefore we move on quickly. Sometimes even faster than online dating.

Ghosting has a lot of layers. I usually don’t agree with doing it but when both parties just know there’s no substance, it just turns into another form of friendly ghosting…caspering, and I am a 90’s kid so that works for me.